Dear President Obama,
First, let me thank you for being a true statesman and a respectful, decent, sane President. You have been an inspiration to so many people around the world.
Thank you for your passion, intelligence, commitment, aptitude and swagger. You are one the coolest brothers that I have ever seen – you, Samuel L. Jackson, John Shaft, Avon Barksdale and Nelson Mandela. You are cool as the other side of the pillow.
Not only are you my favorite President of all time, you are my favorite light-skinned guy of all time. Forget Tom Joyner, Terrance Howard and Steph Curry, you have single handedly brought “light skinned” back. Us dark skinned brothers had taken over, but you Sir were like Luke Skywalker in “Return of the Jedi” – you brought balance to the Force.
So thank you Mr. Obama for not having sprayed-on orange skin and a really bad comb over.
Thanks for leading us out of the Great Recession and helping our country and economy rebound. You were professional and committed despite some of the unprofessional politicians that you faced in Congress.
Cheers, Mr. Real President for not being a sexist, bigot or an egomaniac. Not calling any names, but the guy who currently occupies your old home is as loony as Bugs Bunny.
And I just have to acknowledge the fact that you and your administration used social media responsibly, versus just tweeting or posting nonsense anytime you get in a bad mood. Thank you Mr. Obama for never calling someone, much less a woman, “a dog” via Twitter and debasing the office of the President of the United State even more.
We must also acknowledge the fact that you are an honest man. The orange guy is a pathological liar.
I loved your recent comments last month in South Africa at a speech commemorating the 100th birthday of Nelson Mandela. Standing tall on the land of our forefathers, you shared, “People just make stuff up. They just make stuff up. We see it in the growth of state-sponsored propaganda. We see it in internet fabrications. We see it in the blurring of lines between news and entertainment. We see the utter loss of shame among political leaders where they’re caught in a lie and they just double down and they lie some more.”
And thank you Barack, if I can call you Barack, for not bashing the media for doing their job. It is not “fake news” just because others disagree with the facts being reported.
As a result of your predecessors accusations, more than 300 news publications across the country joined together last week to defend the role of a free press and denounce President Trump’s ongoing attacks on the news media. Not sure if that’s ever been done before.
And how can we not thank you for actually hiring well-qualified competent people to help you run the country. You know like actually hiring a Secretary of Education that has a college degree or has actually been inside of a public school.
I have to give you major props for being a good human being and not stereotyping people from difference races and backgrounds. Mr. Trump has been targeting Mexicans and Muslims, but the last I checked we haven’t had any Mexican terrorist, but we certainly have had numerous white extremist mass murderers.
By the way, Mr. Obama you are way too smart to ever think that we could make Mexico or anyone else pay for a wall. It’s hard enough to make Americans pay for anything extra.
How can I not thank you for being you without acknowledging your lovely bride. You married the best first lady ever and if she’s not the best she is at least in the top three. And I am not just saying this because of my ten-year crush on Michelle. I am saying it because she’s been transformative. Have you ever seen a first lady draw the types of crowds Mrs. Obama attracts?
I am not sure if my grandmother will ever admit it, but I think that you have replaced me as her favorite grandson. No you may not know it, but you are Ms. Ernestine’s favorite. That might be the only issue I have with you. In fact, she’s still waiting on you to come and pick up that sweet potato pie that she baked for you last Thanksgiving.
Finally Mr. President, I must end my man crush letter by again thanking you for your sacrifice and exceptional service. You and Michelle deserve to finally have some fun and actually relax. By the way, don’t get mad for this: Obama for President 2020.
Signing off from Martha’s Vineyards with the Obamas (I wish),
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