BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
VERONICA AND JOSEPH OWENS lll
Live: McCalla
Married: July 4, 2020
Met: Aug. 17, 2013, at a basketball tournament at New Hope Baptist Church in Birmingham. Veronica was there to support her cousin who was playing against Joseph’s team.
Veronica said she wasn’t paying Joseph any attention, but she had surely caught his. “I was the youth pastor at New Hope, and I knew I had never seen her before… and it was a tournament, so between games, I went up in the stands and started talking to her,” Joseph said. “I just made small talk and found out she was there to watch her cousin play, and started talking smack,” he laughed. “I felt some kind of way she was rooting for the losers.”
Joseph has a competitive spirit, “he was talking mess from the sidelines and he would look my way, and one time he winked, and I smiled and just looked away,” Veronica said. “And when I saw him coming towards me, I was like ‘oh my god, what does he want?’”
“Well, I noticed she smiled back, so I had to go talk to her. And she was taking too long to ask me for my number, so I asked her for hers because I didn’t want her to miss her blessing,” Joseph laughed. “He almost didn’t get my number because I didn’t pass out my number like that. I only gave it to him because he made me laugh,” said Veronica.
Although they’d made a connection, they didn’t get far right away because Veronica moved to Montgomery in 2013 and when she moved back to Birmingham in 2014 they were both in and out of relationships for a few years. It wasn’t until 2018 that timing would be right.
First date: Spring 2018, at Purple Onion on Green Springs Highway. “I couldn’t start her too off high, I couldn’t take her to Perry’s right away because I had to leave room to build,” Joseph laughed.
“And he almost didn’t get the chance to take me to Purple Onion because I still wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to him like that,” Veronica added. “But he was sweet, and he was still funny. He knew how to make me laugh without trying.”
“I remember the bacon cheeseburger was fire,” Joseph said. “But I knew we had always been feeling each other but it was always bad timing … so when we finally got to the date it was surreal because we were finally sitting there in front of each other and not just flirting at church. The conversation was always good because we’re both church kids, and love God. It was effortless, it just flowed.”
The turn: June 2018, at Joseph’s place in Hueytown. He had planned a romantic gesture to seal the deal.
“He had flowers and candles everywhere. He made a big heart out of candles, and rose petals surrounding it, and he said, ‘step into the heart if you will be mine,’” Veronica said.
“No I didn’t, I’m old school. I said, ‘will you go with me?’,” Joseph laughed.
“He had a whole little speech, and he said if you accept, step into the heart, and I did,” Veronica clarified.
The proposal: Dec. 7, 2019, at New Hope Baptist Church in the very spot they met: the gymnasium. Joseph had planned to propose the day before his pastoral installation at Mount Ararat Baptist Church in Birmingham.
“I had reached out to some of her family and friends, and had some of my friends and family come. Some of my friends decorated the gym at New Hope Baptist Church for me, and I had Veronica’s friend Mercedes bring her there and she thought they were coming to help me set up for my installation the next day,” Joseph said. “Veronica had a little Yorkie (named August), and I [incorporated] him into the proposal because I bought the dog for her … We had the gym lights dimmed, and I had her favorite Isley Brother’s song ‘Drifting on A Memory’ playing, and when Veronica walked into the gym, she didn’t know what was going on. I followed through with [my speech] and highlighted our history. I said, ‘this is our day one location, this is where we began’ and asked her if she would marry me.”
“He was so nervous, it was written all over his face. He was shaking and talking so fast, I couldn’t understand nothing, he said but ‘will you marry me’,” Veronica laughed. “One of my brothers had my daddy on FaceTime, and my daddy was yelling ‘What is he saying?’ I was a little nervous as well,” she admitted. “I was thinking ‘oh my gosh, this is happening’. When I first walked into the gym and saw all my family and friends [who were visiting because of Joseph’s installation the next day] I started to understand what was happening and I couldn’t stop smiling, and I said ‘yes’.”
The wedding: Originally, the couple had planned to have the wedding in Veronica’s hometown of Los Angeles, California, but since the country was in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, they opted for a small intimate wedding at their church, Mount Ararat Baptist Church, in Birmingham, officiated by their pastor, Gregory L. Clarke, of New Hope Baptist Church. Their colors were white and royal blue, and the bride recalls being an hour late to her own wedding because she had locked her car keys in the trunk of her car, “and I remember asking my mama if this was a bad sign,” Veronica laughed.
Most memorable for the bride was “when my dad was walking me down the aisle, and I just remember Joe staring at me and smiling and it just made me melt,” Veronica said.
Most memorable for the groom was finally feeling at ease after the hour delay. “I was a little frustrated because she was late, and I had to work some magic to get her there. But it was worth it when I saw her come out looking so beautiful and elegant. She looked like a queen and I melted too when I saw her coming down the aisle,” Joseph said.
“And since it was the fourth of July, and we had an evening wedding, when we stepped out the church there were fireworks in the air and that was so beautiful,” Veronica said. “It definitely put the cap on the day,” Joseph added.
Words of wisdom: “While learning each other, try not to lose yourself and your passion for things – selfcare, hobbies, interests. Especially with ministry, you sacrifice a lot for ministry … But it’s very important to take care of yourself and remember who you are.” Veronica said. “And, a lot of people say communication is key, but I think comprehension is. A lot of time, we have our own definition of words and we may think the other person knows what we’re trying to say, but having a discussion explaining your thoughts and where you are mentally is really important.”
“I have learned that marriage is about dying [to self]. Death always takes place at the altar, whether it’s a wedding or a funeral because the I’s become ‘we’, and a lot of people never make to the marriage because they stay stuck at the wedding,” Joseph said. “People need to understand that after that 20-minute celebration [the wedding] comes 20 years of challenges, and sometimes chaos … flaws and all, the good, bad, and ugly. Marriage is not just recreation, it’s also responsibility … “
Happily ever after: The Owens’ pastor Mount Ararat Baptist Church, in Birmingham, and Veronica serves in the music ministry. They have one daughter, Siara ‘Sisi’, two years old.
Veronica, 35, is Los Angeles native, and King Drew Magnet High School of Medicine Science grad. Veronica relocated from L.A. to Birmingham in August 2013, and attended Shelton State Community College, in Tuscaloosa where she earned an associate’s degree in nursing. Veronica works as a registered nurse at the V.A. Hospital in Birmingham.
Joseph, 43, is a Bessemer native, and Jess Lanier High School grad. He attended Birmingham Easonian Bible College, where he studied ministry. Joseph works as a teacher at McAdory Elementary School and as the Sr. Pastor of Mount Ararat Baptist Church, in Birmingham.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
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He Was Shaking and Talking so Fast … But Said ‘Will You Marry Me’”